and finally

And finally..last night I got my answer. It's a NO.hehehe.. serve me right.

Sms her last night and after a few sms, she said that she's sorry that she can't accept it.

Typical answers like I am too good for her and so on.. But, it's okay. Accept it as a man.

The truth is that she already have a guy that she love. That's the ONLY reason. If she said it during the first time I met her, it will be okay. So, I won't hoping more than just a friend.

I can still remember when I asked her for the very first time.. "Awak ngan sape skang ni?da de ngan sape2 or still single?"..and she replied "I am still single and malas dah nak pikir2 bab lelaki"..lebih kurang macam tu la reply nya..

So, that's the only thing that I regretted. If you are attached to somebody, please just say it. Not by denying it at the first place. A friend is better happy than a guy hurt in the process of knowing you.

But, there are few things that I am grateful since the day I met her;

1) she made me closer to Allah by just saying JOM SOLAT to me. From that day onwards, Alhamdulillah I am not simply neglecting my prayer.

2) she made me to appreciate girl better. Before I would just flirt around and have a few girls at the same time to hang out,flirting and keeping myself not boring.

3) she made me cry. In a good way I mean. I never cried during my pray and asking for Allah's help, I felt so little compared to what Allah's power can change somebody's heart

4) She made me closer to my parent. I never tell my parent before about things like girl,feeling or love. And last week I did told my parent of my proposal to her and they are shocked. SHOCKED that their once stubborn and rebellious son changed and willing to share my problem with them.

5) she made me to be more passionate of changing myself to be a better person. I am starting to have my own saving (already enough to have my own wedding), pursuing my master (MBA) and my business is on a good track. Hoping for hundreds thousand of profit next year.Alhamdulillah,praise to Allah.

6) she made me know how to be sincere then you are truly in love. Did say to her that I am hoping that she found her happiness and that guy will make her happy the way I imagined myself making her happy in my sms to her last night. And I really meant it as her happiness is all i want even I am not in the picture.

7) she made me a romantic person? I never bought a gift i.e. gold ring to any girl before. I never bought a girl roses for our date. I never bring a girl for her birthday celebration;a table for two set with a view of KL city from up above,birthday song played when all the focus on our table with the waitress singing birthday song together with the rest of restaurant crew and some disco light. The way I imagined it in my head, thanks to the novel.

8) before I knew her, I am just enjoying the flirting part in the process of knowing a girl. But, now no more. Bye2 all that flirting scene.

9) she made me to be who I am this moment. A guy who wants to be better in all aspect (relationship,career,financial,emotions and etc.)

10) thanks Si Gadis and Alhamdulillah that Allah gave me this chance.

And the worst part of my decision only one thing only;

I need to reply back to my dad as yesterday he did called me whether he can go there and do all those proposal for me. I just said that I don't know whether she accept or not. So, today I will inform him that just forget about all those thing for time being and maybe later,InsyaAllah.

Just pray that I will found another version of Si Gadis that will love me the way I love her. And also pray that Si Gadis will be happy with her choice and have a happy life ahead. You have my prayer for sure.

And the journey continues.

Song of the day: FEELINGS by Morris Albert, click here