aku rindukan senyuman itu

this song totally touch me.

by kertas,title penantian. 

the lyrics are so touching,nice lyric,nice song. how i wish I could sing this to my girl,but who is my girl?hello hello,calling my girl.

Bulan dengarkan lantunku
bintang temanilah aku
terangi gelap malamku

Aku ingin engkau tahu
ku kan selalu menunggu
hilangkan rasa letihku

Bila nanti kau mengerti
kumohon terangi aku

Dalam hatiku
ingatkan aku
untuk menahan rasa hati lelahku
yang slalu ...
rindukan tawamu dalam hatiku

Hanya dirimu ...
beri malamku yang menghiasi jiwa
yang rapuh
terlalu merindumu
hoo oo ooo....

Bila nanti kau mengerti
kumohon terangi aku .....

Dalam hatiku
ingatkan aku
untuk menahan rasa hati lelahku
yang slalu ...
rindukan tawamu dalam hatiku
ingkatkan aku ku kan tetap menantimu
hingga hati it.

bertunang

today nothing much happen. until it was 450pm, I got a phone call. 

girl : "ariel, can we meet?"

me : siapa ni?

girl : xxxxxx. kawan pada xxxxx.

me : ok, utk apa eyh?

girl : boleh jumpa tak?nak cakap face to face.

me : ok. amik kat umah. 

later, after finished praying, met her and went to Section 7's lake (just opposite my house). I was confused and weird why she want to meet me. And there it is.

She just want to ask me about my friend, Mr. X. My friend already engaged and I don't want to be the person ruined his engagement. As she try to ask, I just listen. Tapi, after da dengar, simpati pon de. According to her, diaorg da kenal lama. About few years back. And my friend, Mr. X pon da jumpa that girl punya family, datang tido kat umah that girl, datang masak2, jumpa setiap ari and involve that girl in every thing.

Now, that guy, Mr.X dah start mengelak after dah bertunang. The girl want to break pon Mr. X taknak putuskan. She's trapped within her family, that guy and her own feelings.

Being fair to everybody, I just advised her to talk with Mr. X and don't do anything stupid. Also told her to do something that wont give bad consequences to both of them.

I would certainly blamed both of them. Mr. X for not being faithful to his fiance and that girl. While that girl for believing all the things that guy said to her.

Moral is, love the one that loves you. Stay faithful to each other. Kalau time bertunang pon dok ligat couple dengan orang lain, time kawin ingat nak berubah ke? I wish I wont be like that. And also wish all the people that I love wont be having the same probs. And hope that Si Gadis also not having the probs.

lunch

yesterday, received a sms from "si gadis". she was in Shah Alam attending a meeting. And her meeting was postponed after lunch. So, she was at McD spending her time. Considering that we haven't meet for quite sometimes, I said that I'll meet her later there.

After about 1 hour later, I go to McD to see her. But, BLING BLING. When I was on my way there, I stop for a while at Kompleks PKNS Section 2. Bought a bouquet of flower for her. If I could remember, I always give her flower. Something that I don't do for any other girls :)

So, I reached McD about 1215pm. Straight to Padang Jawa for Ayam Penyet. It was not a fancy restaurant but the food was superb!! We had our lunch there and she is satisfied with the Ayam Penyet.

During lunch, I asked about when could I have her card. Wedding invitation of course. My eyes glanced her hand, masih tiada cincin. Means they are not yet engaged. Maybe waiting for the correct time. I just smile and pray that she'll be happy. If I were that guy, you guys could guess how I would react kan? :P Just like i did before. Told her mom that, " Makcik, saya suka anak makcik and hajat di hati nak pinang dia" Kenapa lah boleh ada kekuatan camtu? :)

I just keep staring at her eyes and face, wajah yang dah lama aku tak tengok. Wajah yang memang sentiasa buat hati aku tak tentu arah. Maybe she realized it or maybe she don't. If only she knew it :)

After lunch, went to the nearest mosque. Solat Zohor di situ. Spend a few minutes talking to an old man and asking for his view. Cara2 nak tenangkan hati dan ikhlas. Dia cuma cakap, doa dan doa. Allah tahu yang terbaik untuk kita.

And after finish my prayer, get out and saw that Si Gadis already finished praying. Met her and give her the roses I bought. The smile from her is all that I want. Her smile is worth all the trouble.

I pray that my future wife can also be happy like this. I'll buy her roses and make her smile. I promise you my future wife. Whoever she is, be happy dear !

Ya Allah, berikanlah aku jodoh yang baik, anak2 dan waris yang baik serta keturunan yang baik. Amin ya Rabbal Alamin

mencari cinta

it has been a very busy week for me last week. with assignments, works and orientation day. 

       Classes are as usual and busy with assignment and quizzes. Had to submit essays, quizzes and assignments. None of them finished. All caused as we had orientation at Felda Trolak, Perak. Went there on Friday till Sunday. Before going to there, I am quite busy with works. Had to prepare for welcoming the group from Motorola Penang. Applied leave on Friday and yet still doing works.

       On Friday, went to Port Klang and see my cars. The C240 is in great condition while C200K is quite below my expectation. It has been few months as I was expected to have my cars on December. This is due to the fact that there's a problem with the AP. Hope that all will be solved. Might considering of taking the C240 only and not the C200K. Or maybe if I took the C200K, I will ask for some discount. Will see later.

     Later that afternoon, went to Trolak with 3 buses full of MBA student. We all are quite not so friendly as it involves all students (full time,part time and fast track) which never met before. Arrived at Felda Residence, Trolak and check in. Later that night, we had some interesting program. NIGHTWALKING! It was great. I had to pair up with 3 ladies, (Yang, Lin and Kish) for the program. Had to lead them along the way in complete darkness in the jungle. It was fun and scary as I cant see anything. So, there was my 3 new friends.

     On Saturday, we went to waterrafting at Gopeng. It was AWESOME!!! Something I never do before. It was great as the current is strong and we were wet all the way along, 7km. It took 2 hours to complete the rafting. Saved a beautiful lady (Lana) who panicked when she fall into the water.  But, that just it. Dont see her again after that. :)

     On Sunday we went to Hotspring and enjoy the water there. It was so hot that you could boil the egg directly from the hotspring. Went back later and my friend called me went I just about to arrive at campus. Alhamdulillah, he and his girlfriend invite me to accompany them to dinner and spend times with them. They were kind enough to have me and send me home.

     During the dinner, we shared a lot of interesting stories and laughed among ourselves. Flirting with the waitress as I kiddingly asked for her number. When I could see her blushing, I quickly say that I am kidding only.  :) Met with my friend's girlfriend for the first time and talked all the things related to me and my friend. They asked me why that I am still single and don't think of couple? I said that nobody want me and laugh for it. They are not falling for my excuses as they claimed me to be funny,romantic (my friend know my previous crush with si gadis as I asked for his advice) and friendly and yet no relationship. I just said that, do pray for me. :)

    So, maybe its time that I start to see what can I do for my love journey. Maybe I could start to love myself first before I love somebody else. I wish that I could find somebody who could love me for who I am. 

    Ya Allah, please give me my love and lead me to her. I done my work and pray, pleasel help me ya Allah. Amin ya rabbal alamin.

kenapa

Last week has been a very tiring week. with works and also with class. Hope that all my efforts will be rewarded later on.

Weekend is quite boring as I need to attend a conference (online) for my MBA's class. So, my Saturday is just for my study. Managed to finished it and hope that will get good marks later.

On Sunday morning, went to KL and do some shopping with my housemate. Bought calculator, shoes and planned to buy remote control helicopter for Ayish later. After that, went to UKM to meet my little sis. Already called her before I arrived and surprise,suprise. Waited for 30mins after arrived. She forgot to bring her handphone to lunch and I just met her while was waiting for her. Took the HSBC's account book,electronic device and cheque book that I registered under my company's name. No wonder their minimum deposit is high, the security is excellent.

before went back to Shah Alam, my lil sis said to me. "Bang Teh, duit da takde. Tengok ni".

Then,she opened her purse. I could see nearly RM60 still available. Then,she realized what I was going to say and quickly replied "mana cukup,nak makan lagi. Bank jauh,malas nak cucuk".

Gosh, she could read my mind. Just RM50 for her,if more she'll wasted it for topup,which I don't agree on.

Later, went back to Shah Alam and spent 3hours to iron all my clothes. So tired that night.

And here comes the biggest twist. I dreamed of Si Gadis last night. I don't know how she appeared in my minds and my dreams. I try my best to forget her and thought that I did succeed. But, why? Why she appeared in my dream again?

Ya Allah.. Woke up at 5am as I couldn't sleep. Exercising, making breakfast and performing my Subuh prayer. 

Is all this dreams happen caused I did changed my prayer? I prayed that : " Ya Allah,temukanlah jodoh aku dengan yang terbaik untuk Ku. Ya Allah, Engkau cepatkanlah jodoh ku ini. Aku mahu berkahwin ya Allah". 

Hurm..hope that my prayer will come true this year. Ya Allah, please grant my prayer. Amin...

perginya cinta ku

30th December 2010

713am : punched card and arrived at office.

715am : tett..tett..a sms received. "Bang Teh,pukul 5pm ni mai umah abg.kita bertolak balik kedah.wan tengah nazak".

720am : packed all my things and leave. dont care about my work anymore and decided to take EL (emergency leave)

9am : took a bus to my hometown

5pm : arrive at kedah and fetched by my parent.

1045pm : wan (my grandpa) passed away.

Next day, he was buried and for 3 nights, we have tahlil.

Haji Mustapa bin Abd Rahman, born in 1929 and died on 30hb Dec 2010, 1045pm. 

Siapa dia?Siapa wan aku?apa istimewa dia pada aku?apa ertinya dia dalam hidup aku?

wan adalah seorang datuk yg sangat sayang kan cucunya. pergilah mana2,ke kedai atau mana2. mesti ada something yang akan dibawa balik oleh dia. I could still remember how he would say.. "awang..oo awang" when he got back from grocery stores. thats how he called my youngest brother (even he's not named Awang),to give him candy,choc or anything that he bought. kasihnya dia pada kami tak pernah kurang. He's a guy that I admire, from religious part and social part.

Kalau belum sembahyang lagi,senang je ayat yang dia akan cakap. "Cepat skit tu..api neraka dok tggu tu." you could imagine how would I react when hear that kind of statement. wan juga la yang sumber inspirasi aku nak mengurut. Dia mmg sangat bagus kalau bab2 mengurut. sakit harini,if dia urut,esok akan lega. I also dont know how,but I can and know how to do it also. dia cakap jari2 aku ni pandai cari urat. 

Other things is, dia tak pernah lokek dengan duit. Even seringgit,seratus or berapa pun. Anak cucu akan sentiasa di ingatan. Dulu2, kalau nak balik ke kampus, bila salam je dengan dia,aku mesti dapat something. It is not the money that I expected, cuma keikhlasan hati. Selalu juga aku tolak untuk ambil,tapi dia selalu desak. Katanya buat belanja. 

Banyak kenangan sangat dengan wan. tak pernah meninggi suara. tak pernah marah2 cucu. sayang kan cucu nya. 

Berapa kali aku menangis pon aku da tak ingat. In fact, ni pon tgh menitis air mata in my office.

Ya Allah,tempatkan dia dalam golongan yang beriman. Berikanlah rahmat mu pada rohnya ya Allah. Aku sayangkan dia.